Rhine Whine

What do we think about nose jobs?

Once, when I was at an impressionable age, my dad remarked that I had a "Roman Nose."  You only come up with descriptors like that because the words "beautiful" or "cute" are not immediately springing to mind.

I never think about my nose, because I never look at me in profile.  But what about my beleaguered public?  Need they have suffered so long?

I was dating (is that the word?) a guy in college, whom I trusted for frankness (since it was he who first drew my attention to my moustache which I had never before noticed).  I asked him about my nose.  "It's fine." 

"Okay, but look at this."  I gave him profile view.  "Mm-hmm."  Then I covered up the bump with my finger.  His mouth fell open.  "Wow."

And I haven't thought about my nose since then, till today when I got this picture from Rad. 

Try it yourself: cover up the convexity with something.  Heck, give it a cute little ski jump!

I've always been totally against cosmetic anything.  I'd like to think it's philosophical - that the world would be a much more interesting place if attractiveness truly incorporated the entire package of looks and personality and energy and kindness and, necessarily, packaging.  (A boss once shared with me a quotation from Coco Chanel: "There are two kinds of women.  Beautiful women, and lazy women."  It could be read so many ways!  Intriguing!)

But why should the average have to struggle to be extra charming?  Why should those simply born with symmetrical faces or a few extra inches get paid more and have better odds of becoming President?  Are they better/kinder/smarter people?  We can argue that beauty is linked to health, so it's only practical.  But hasn't humanity progressed beyond the point where we most value the quickest hunters and the strongest gatherers?

I'm not against coloring hair.  I've certainly tried enough shades myself.  (And have observations!  As a blonde, you get more drinks bought for you.  As a brunette, fewer people hit on you, but those that do are looking for conversation.  Stoplight Red didn't cut either way.  Purple was a big loser.)

I'm also not against makeup.  So I guess I'm concerned about the surgery part.  Slicing open your nose (or your chest, or your thighs) in the name of beauty seems like a pretty strong statement of where your priorities lie.  But if looks are, in fact, tied into everything else that bears on a good life, who am I to judge those priorities?  (Though I bet appearance has nothing to do with commute time!)

Maybe I'm just defensive.  Maybe, because I'm afraid of surgery, I'm afraid of having to compete against people who are not.  Maybe I'm afraid that the Venn diagram circle of what's attractive is getting redrawn, smaller, and I'm getting left out in that big, unfriendly "Universe" rectangle. 

I do think that young people are being reared with increasingly unrealistic expectations of feminine beauty (that are uncorrellated with health).  I don't really know what the practical effects of this are.  Our run club e-mail list recently fielded the question of a young woman who was interested in taking up running for health, but was hesitant for fear of developing muscular (read: unattractive) legs.  On the one hand, I was sorry to see such a superficial reason for avoiding a great form of exercise as well as the disappointing definition of attractive, on the other hand I totally understood. 

I know I said a while ago that I needed to start taking Being a Woman seriously.  But what does that really require?  I'm bumping up against the age at which, for optimal results (or so I am informed), I need to start considering the Facial Peel. 

I've put in an order for this and this.  They should arrive Friday.  Why don't we go from there.

Comments

[BC]

FWIW, my daughter and I have long considered you to be one of the most beautiful women we know (inside and out).

[boots]

Isn't a facial peel what Samantha got on Sex & the City that made her look all weird? Don't plan to do this before a big formal event (unless you live in a sitcom, then you have to plan it before something disastrous).

The idea of unnecessary surgery scares the snot out of me. But I was just admiring how cute a friend's little ski jump nose was last night. It was really really cute. And it goes with any outfit.

[Ace's brother]

http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/

If you haven't come across this site yet, you've been missing out on a lot of Schadenfreude.

[Fraulein N]

Crap. Am panicking. Should I be working on Being A Woman? Because I think if it were a class, I'd be failing right now.

[Vaguely Urban]

Dude, you are the prettiest girl I know. So stop scrunching up your face, stand up straight, and smile.

Short skirts, and sheer stockings, baby.

[Lauren]

I think your nose is beautiful, for real. I think my own slightly puggish, described-by-my-sister-as-snobby nose is boring, and I'm a little excited that as I get older it's developing a bump.

but don't listen to what I say, because I'm going to the dermatologist in one hour for a glycolic peel, and then tonight, I'm going to touch up my bleached teeth! :)

[A friend]

Seriously, your profile view is pretty. I say pretty and I do mean pretty (as opposed to, "oh, that's not so bad"). You should see my profile view. You have nothing to worry about... but I can completely relate to the pressure to be "beautiful." It's pretty pathetic that to be heard and seen you have to look like everyone else- or at least the ideal everyone.

[A friend]

Seriously, your profile view is pretty. I say pretty and I do mean pretty (as opposed to, "oh, that's not so bad"). You should see my profile view. You have nothing to worry about... but I can completely relate to the pressure to be "beautiful." It's pretty pathetic that to be heard and seen you have to look like everyone else- or at least the ideal everyone.

[A friend]

Seriously, your profile view is pretty. I say pretty and I do mean pretty (as opposed to, "oh, that's not so bad"). You should see my profile view. You have nothing to worry about... but I can completely relate to the pressure to be "beautiful." It's pretty pathetic that to be heard and seen you have to look like everyone else- or at least the ideal everyone.

[TasterSpoon]

Thanks. This topic never gets old, does it? Another blogger of whom I'm a big fan was kicking around the idea of a boob job and my reactions were all! over! the place!

Lately I'm trying to hippie out and be all natural...but that's an image too, isn't it?