Frederique

What's the word for people who "don't get it" within the sport of cycling?  Barneys?  Freds?  I think that's it; let's assume so.

For my entire cycling career (4 yrs now!), I have been a complete Fred.  I ride poorly and slowly; real cyclists smirk at my aerobars (bought originally for the sole purpose of holding a sippy cup - that front-perched, open-topped bottle with a straw - so I wouldn't have to take my hands off my handlebars); I wear the wrong clothes and look dumb in my helmet.

The first time I ever felt like a cyclist, though, was the first time I rode up to the city and back with my friend, uh...Ned.  Ned and I were passing though a foggy intersection in San Bruno, when some road enraged driver shouted, "Get out of the road, Pierres!"

I looked around.  Was he talking to us?  Was he calling me a..."Pierre"?  Ned said that yes, it's because of Tour de France associations with cycling - the belligerent yahoos were perhaps accusing us of partaking in a French sport.  (This was in the era of Freedom Fries. )

Anyway - the fact that this non-athlete had mistaken me for an actual cyclist gave me a real boost.  As poorly dressed as I probably was (I probably wore ordinary unpadded shorts, a cotton shirt, a big, red, billowy fleece and a fanny pack), I felt I must have given the impression of knowing what I was doing.  I got called Pierre!

But I've never felt I really fit in with actual cyclists - like I said, I'm bad at it.  But I also look like a dork.  Sure, I'd get the occasional murmur from a "real" cyclist as he breezed by me ("On your left..."), but mostly I think my goofy presence has been merely tolerated.  (Cyclists are simultaneously a very friendly, welcoming community, and a very snobby, elitist community.)  Clearly, I'm just a wannabe.  (I mean, look at me.)

I've always loved cycling outfits.  The skin tight Lycra leaves little to the imagination, so you can visually appreciate the necessary fitness of these talented athletes.  The shaved legs, too, look sleek, and you can see every muscle and tendon (which, I have been told by some, is partly the point).  And the bright colors!  Hot pink and lime green and lemon yellow and polka dots!  I once saw a pack of maybe fifty guys go by in all these colors, and the first thought I had was of a fistful of blow pops.  Maybe they look silly out of context, but they sure are visible on the side of the road.

But I thought that to wear an actual jersey myself was kind of poser-ish.  Especially the "sponsored" jerseys.  U.S. Postal, or T. Mobile, or Luna Bar...looking at you ride, I know you're not on the pro team, so instead I know that you just forked over $70 to wear somebody else's advertisement.  This makes no sense to me.  I also just thought that wearing cycling-specific clothing would raise expectations of anyone who saw me, that I was somehow "serious" about the sport - when I don't think that's ever been a good self description.

Over time, I have learned that there's purpose to the gear, and it's more stupid not to get it.  First the padded shorts, then the thin socks, then the yellow sunglasses, then the arm- and leg- warmers.  It was only last year that I bought myself a real, cycling jersey from the Sports Basement.  No logos, no team names - it is orange and green, with a hula doll on a little tropical island.  I love it.  I feel like the real deal.  I went on a Century ride and saw four other women with the same shirt (I got the last one on sale) and we all agreed we loved our hula girls very much. 

A few weeks ago Boots sent me a long sleeved jersey.  I have gone on only three bike rides this year, but I've worn it for every one.  I love it!  I can fit bananas in the pockets (previously, I only carried what food fit in my four-inch Bento Box; mostly bars), it keeps me warm on zippy days but is technical fabric so I don't get sweaty - it's wonderful.  And at the marathon expo in December I bought a new pair of cheap sunglasses - they're red to match my helmet. 

So there I was, yesterday, in my long, padded tights, my toe warmers, my new long-sleeved jersey, my yellow gloves, my matching glasses and helmet; I realized I finally looked the part.

And yesterday, when I was riding my bike on Foothill, I got any number of smiles, serious nods, even hand-waves from cyclists going the other way on the other side of the expressway.  I know it's not 'cause I'm fast, and it's not because they recognized me. 

It's because they also thought I was a cyclist.

Comments

[Ace's brother]

Remember this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xD5Pd-uk5fI

I got to be Iron Mike Singletary at Wilmot Elementary's all-school Superbowl assembly that year. That was back when Ace still thought I was cool.

[Ace's brother]

Sorry, wrong topic. Cf. Da Bearsss above...

[TasterSpoon]

Check out the guy dancing at 1:49. And could anybody look more self conscious than the skinny white kid who comes on at 3:11?

Fashion takeaway from The Superbowl Shuffle: huge thighs make your waist look TINY!

[Ace's brother]

The guy at 3:11 is Steve Fuller, the backup QB to Jim McMahon. I still have the 45 record at home. I practiced it like crazy to prepare for the all-school assembly... Which, sadly, was on the same day as the Challenger accident. That was a pretty eventful day for a kid of the 1980's.

[mjd]

Even though I am not a real football fan, this is a great time to live in northwest Indiana. We can cheer for the Bears. If they lose, hey Indianapolis is our state capital. You sound like a real cyclist to me, and all the non-cyclists probably think that you are Ms. Armstrong or whoever is a top woman cyclist.

Once I was jogging for a short distance when I saw a local politician. I made sure to keep jogging until he was out of sight so that the guy would think that I am some jock, which I am not. I don't even like football.

[Elizabeth]

First of all: cheese grater = oucH!
Secondly: cockrotter = hilarious word

I feel the same way about the uniform of the sport you are doing. It makes people think you know what you are doing, which is why I wear strange sweatpants and random t-shirts when I go work out.
Perhaps, though, in the time you outlined in your post, you've become more serious and knowledgeable about bicycling, which makes you more comfortable in the clothing. Hence, making you much less of a "Fred".